The final eight rules to live by...
9. Learn the game. Know the rules and know how to play the game. Do what Thais do. Learn how things work in Thailand. Play the game the way they do.
10. Learn to speak Thai. Learn the basics. You can use it sometimes, you can choose to say, "Sorry, I don't speak Thai," if the situation warrants.
11. Bribery is bribery. Be very careful about what you say to police officers and government officials. Not everyone is as corrupt as you might think. You might pay money and think you're going to get away, but the truth is, you might just be throwing your money in the toilet.
12. Do not sell counterfeit goods. Thais might get away with selling counterfeit products here in Thailand but if you are caught selling internationally.
13. Do not assume you can buy all Thai women. Period. If they're working in a beer bar, go-go, soapy, or massage parlor, think what you want. But when you're out on the street, it's probably a good idea to not go around offering women money for sex.
14. Have an escape plan. Make sure you have a bug out bag, cash on hand, and if possible, an airline ticket to get out of Dodge (or Bangkok).
15. Never transfer more money to a Thai bank account than you can afford to lose. I understand you might need to keep 400K or 800K for visa reasons, but be careful. Keep your bank book locked up in a safe or safety deposit box. The unscrupulous want your life savings - ever last dime of it.
16. If you want to get to know a Thai woman, meet them in person. Online dating is simply one method of meeting a woman. I personally believe that talking to a person face-to-face is much, much better than talking to them via Skype for six months and then calling her your girlfriend. If you truly believe you know a woman because you've been emailing her and talking to her on Skype, I have some swampland in Florida to sell you. I'd recommend numerous face-to-face meetings with a woman before even considering getting involved with her. But...to each is own. I can lead a horse to water but I can't make him drink.
Bonus Rule - DO NOT EVER OVERSTAY YOUR VISA! If you get into a bind and don't have the money to do a visa run, borrow 1200 baht, pawn your watch, do what you have to do. Then take a minivan to the Cambodian border and renew your visa. You'll only get an additional 14 days but you won't be overstayed! Overstaying puts you in a position where the Thai police can boot you out if they want. For a lousy $40, is overstaying necessary? No!
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