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To Be the Best

5/4/2014

8 Comments

 
Picture
I carry this camera everywhere. While it is certainly not the best camera, it is good enough to take very sharp, clean photos
One of the biggest reasons people fail to do what they want or to get the most out of their lives is indecision. By making no decision, a person is effectively deciding to do nothing. 

Growing up, I decided I wanted to be the best at something. My parents, who were far more influential than I knew at the time, tried to tell me to be the best I could be and not to worry about being the best. Very few people ever end up being the absolute best at any one thing. I learned this the hard way. 
When I was in my early teens, I began playing tennis. My mother and father took private lessons and were fairly good. By the time I was 15, I began beating them regularly. I began taking on others at the tennis club, winning several matches. I was full of confidence and sure I would be a professional tennis player when I was all grown up. I was growing stronger, I had an abundance of endurance, and I was certain no one in the club, other than the pros teaching me, were good enough to defeat me. 
Picture
Good shot—not great—but from a purely artistic standpoint, I love it. Although there is no overly dramatic mystery attached to this shot, it does make me stop and take a second look. Whether or not it's worth paying for is a different matter all together.
My tennis coaches, Doug and Susan taught little Chrissie Evert before she made it to the big time. She went on to be one of the best in the women's tennis. If they were teaching me, I figured I could not be beat. So they entered me into a tournament. I was all of 5'4 and 130lbs. My first opponent was 6'2, 190 lbs., had a monster serve. He destroyed me in straight sets. I was devastated and forced to rethink my future. 

Could I ever be the best? 

I didn't think so. 

"Why play this game if I can't be the best," I said. 

"Tennis is a game you can play all your life," said my mother. "Enjoy it, have fun playing, and don't worry about being the best."

My mind works differently though. Anything worth doing is worth doing it to be the best. It took me years to acknowledge my logic was faulty. This black or white mentality has both served me well and quite possibly cut short fantastic opportunities. The past is the past though and all I can do is look towards the future.

Lately I have grown more and more disenchanted with my photographic skills. I am self-taught and although I have been published in more magazines than I can remember, I still yearn to be recognized in photographic circles as a "real photographer."  
Picture
A quick snap of my son Nicholas, age 11
As a writer and photographer, I barely register a blip on the radar screen. There are times this is difficult for my ego to accept. I want more out of my ability and I want to be recognized for being a skillful artist. I want, I want, I want...Writing and photography are both akin to practicing Zen or martial arts.  The more one strives for perfection, the farther away from one gets. Remembering this does nothing to alleviate one's desire to get better. Or in my case, to be the best. 

The truth is, unless I am hit with a bolt of lightening from the talent God's above, I will never be the best photographer. My slightly misanthropic mentality tends to shine through in my photos, written words, and video, and I guess that's good enough. If my work is artistic enough to be deemed the work of an artist, that is also good enough. One thing I learned long ago here in Thailand—don't think too much. So I'm going to go back to just having fun. 
Picture
Nicholas and Alex. This is one of my favorite shots of them taken in the past year.
Pentax 645D 40MP Medium Format Digital SLR Camera with 3-Inch LCD Screen (Black)
8 Comments
David Iles
5/4/2014 03:50:00 pm

Hi Scott,
You are doing a great job! Don't be so hard on yourself.
In your lifetime you have achieved so much more than the average guy in the street.All the photos you take tell a story and I can see the care taken in the shot. You probably have read the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. Read it again.

Reply
Scott Mallon link
5/5/2014 02:05:05 am

Thanks David. Great poem - I like Kipling and should have remembered that poem. One thing about photography is most of the time it pays not to rush. To outsiders I may have achieved so much more but I have many things more to achieve. I'm tired and about ready for another trip - a getaway beach preferably.

Reply
douglas birbeck
5/4/2014 09:17:01 pm

hi Scott,

great article, thanks. we are of a similar age but i've never wanted to be the best at anything especially, no burning ambition, but i have always wanted to be a cut above the average in anything important to me and i think by good fortune i have largely succeeded. i have lots of free time and recently i have been reflecting a little bit about how life could have been. in fact even until now (i'm 52 this year), life has been somewhat of a roller coaster for me, i came from a completely fucked up family (my mother suffered from increasingly severe mental illness, my brother and father left when i was 10 and my mother chucked me out when i was 14) but i did however go to one of the best schools in London (now in England) which, along with my beloved Gran, were the only good things in my childhood. first i wanted to be a doctor (to help my mum) but later, after i left school i went on my first real trip (to Sudan and Egypt for 2 1/2 months at 19) and decided to get into contract programming and end up a professional pilot and also travel the world. although i got my pilot's licence, travelling won. even ending up settling down in Japan was literally and accident (read first pregnancy) and as i'm not a guy who could have walked away from a pregnant girlfriend, and so on. now i am finally mature enough to see what could maybe have been if life had not been so stormy on occasion, i will pass on what life has taught me to my children and hopefully they can have some benefit from their idiot father's experiences in life and save themselves a lot of grief and actually get to where they want to go a little more directly.

Reply
Scott Mallon link
5/5/2014 05:41:05 am

My life's been a rollercoaster as well, most of it because of my refusal to do things any way other than MY WAY. I came here for a year, stayed, got married, had kids, have done everything from working as a printer to photojournalist to boxing trainer. Had I opted for staying with photojournalism instead of going with boxing trainer, which was double the money, I wouldn't be fighting to scrounge up the money for trips. I'd love to get in a war zone and start photographing - but I don't have enough cash and at least at this point, no magazine is going to pay my way! So I'm in a bit of a pickle but I am grateful I earn enough to pay the bills and a little more.

I try not to reflect. All it does is depress me.

Reply
frank tischner
5/4/2014 09:38:34 pm

Have you seen the my page photos on bing. They are outstanding.

Reply
Scott Mallon link
5/5/2014 02:05:59 am

Sorry, I don't follow.

Reply
gary stamey
5/6/2014 07:57:49 pm

Life is not about how many times we've been knocked down or defeated, failed or fumbled...it's always about how we got back up and continued on...

Scott, you are a winner at life...continue on, always taking the high road while the fools take the low road and the guaranteed shortcut to mediocrity.'..

You've already won the lotto by your love of family!

Reply
Scott Mallon link
5/8/2014 03:02:00 am

Thanks Gary.

Reply

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