I wake up without an alarm clock. I do not own one. I have nowhere in particular to go, no job to rush off to, and yet I am awake by 4:30 AM every single day of my life. Time is money but more importantly time is a limited resource. I only need to charge my batteries; I can sleep when I die. I go to sleep when I am tired. Sometimes this means taking catnaps in the middle of the day. Occasionally I knock out at 7:00 PM and wake up at midnight, only to repeat the process a few hours later. I do not punch a time clock, thankfully, yet my own time clock is much less forgiving.
Some say I am living the life. My wife, she knows better. She knows I always want more. I always want something different. I am rarely satisfied and always in pursuit of something. I am still trying to figure out exactly what it is I am after. Ayahuasca might help - it's at the top of my bucket list.
I set aside time to write - yet most of what is written is never seen and often ends up in the trash.
I set aside time to take photos - like writing, this is an artistic outlet. One that keeps me somewhat sane. Note I wrote somewhat. We're all nuts in our own way. I finally counted how many photos I have - several hundred thousand. Yet I rarely have time to upload them to my website nor do I display the vast majority of them.
"Why don't you try selling them?" people ask. I do sell some but the truth is, I have come to realize that I take photos for myself, not for anyone else. Sure, it's nice to have people enjoy what you do but in the end, I care about myself. Call me selfish.
There are some who say I am lucky. I am living a dream. I think otherwise. Luck is what happens when preparation and opportunity meet. I have made my own way, with a little help from others, and usually know exactly where I am and which direction I am heading. I am not lucky to be where I am. Lucky is winning the lottery. I am free. This should never be taken for granted.
Every so often, I get bored. Between my family, writing, taking photos, making videos, and planning my next adventure, I normally I have little time to get bored. But even in Thailand, life can get monotonous. Every so often I feel the need for a change. Long term, I do not believe I will live in Thailand for the rest of my life. I will live here part-time but at some point, I'll live back in the US and perhaps Ecuador if it pans out.
Short term, I need to stay busier. That means less time answering silly relationship questions and more time traveling and answering more difficult questions. In order to do some of the things I want to do, I need to make more money. I need to monetize. My YouTube channel earns a little...with little being the key word in this sentence.
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