1. Thai women everywhere think you're a "hansum man." If you have low self-esteem, by the time they're done, you'll think you're George Clooney.
2. No need to use toilet paper, instead use water, eliminating skid marks and that not so fresh feeling. No more uncomfortable stickiness!
3. If you get a traffic ticket for speeding, pay ten dollars to the smiling police officer. No need for a lawyer, no need to take time off from work to go to court and no traffic school. Case closed!
4. Got the urge to get jiggy? No problem, in Thailand finding a sexual partner, or partners, is as easy as going to 7’11. Plus, there’s one on every corner!
5.Need to buy something at a convenience or department store but you're running late? Simply make believe you're in the NBA finals, throw a few elbows, ram your way to the cash register and hand the clerk your money. Make sure you go strong to the goal or another person in line might beat you to it! Thais bypass the queue without giving it a second thought so it is highly unlikely you will be punched, stabbed, or shot.
6. Tired of the same-ole, same-ole for lunch or dinner? In Thailand, they make sure you have it your way; there's an extensive selection of high grade crickets, grasshoppers, smelly dried squid, and moths to choose from. After eating these delicacies you'll never look at Pad Thai the same again!
7. Bon-Bons aren't sold in Thailand meaning there are less fat chicks whining about how their husbands don't love them anymore. Unlike the United States and United Kingdom where the curse of fat-bottomed, jelly-bellied girls runs rampant, nubile hotties with cracking bodies outnumber fat chicks. Not having a fat chick means you don't have to lie and tell her you love her no matter how fat she gets! No more feigning a headache to get out of sex!
8. Age doesn't matter! Even at 75-years of age, as long as you've got a little spare cash, you can still be a player. Walk with your head held high, holding hands and playing kissy-face with a 20-year-old who is young enough to be your great grand daughter!