I wake up without an alarm clock. I do not own one. I have nowhere in particular to go, no job to rush off to, and yet I am awake by 4:30 AM every single day of my life. Time is money but more importantly time is a limited resource. I only need to charge my batteries; I can sleep when I die. I go to sleep when I am tired. Sometimes this means taking catnaps in the middle of the day. Occasionally I knock out at 7:00 PM and wake up at midnight, only to repeat the process a few hours later. I do not punch a time clock, thankfully, yet my own time clock is much less forgiving.
Some say I am living the life. My wife, she knows better. She knows I always want more. I always want something different. I am rarely satisfied and always in pursuit of something. I am still trying to figure out exactly what it is I am after. Ayahuasca might help - it's at the top of my bucket list.
I set aside time to write - yet most of what is written is never seen and often ends up in the trash.
I set aside time to take photos - like writing, this is an artistic outlet. One that keeps me somewhat sane. Note I wrote somewhat. We're all nuts in our own way. I finally counted how many photos I have - several hundred thousand. Yet I rarely have time to upload them to my website nor do I display the vast majority of them.
"Why don't you try selling them?" people ask. I do sell some but the truth is, I have come to realize that I take photos for myself, not for anyone else. Sure, it's nice to have people enjoy what you do but in the end, I care about myself. Call me selfish.
There are some who say I am lucky. I am living a dream. I think otherwise. Luck is what happens when preparation and opportunity meet. I have made my own way, with a little help from others, and usually know exactly where I am and which direction I am heading. I am not lucky to be where I am. Lucky is winning the lottery. I am free. This should never be taken for granted.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "With freedom comes responsibility." I am still attempting to figure out what responsibilities I have other than making sure my family is happy, healthy, and fed.
The older I get, the more I learn about myself and the many flaws of human beings. In the end, the only thing truly important is that we have prepared our children to live without us.
If we are important, people will remember us for a few decades or perhaps a century.
How many kids nowadays know of Albert Einstein? Or the Wright brothers? How many teenagers know Alexander Graham Bell? Perhaps they have never heard of him because they're too busy burying their noses into the latest smart phone. My wife once sold her iPhone to me because she thought it was too complicated for a phone. Now she uses it for business and we have a rule (rather I have a rule): no phones during family time.
This is not to say that any of the above stated people are unimportant. They are taken for granted, certainly, but no less important to mankind. The day will come when consumers no longer remember Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Think about it. Steve Wozniak...who's he?
Human beings have limited memory and tend to remember only what is important and pressing. Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs are unimportant. What they have accomplished for mankind is important.
If I could only get the man or woman walking through the mall to tilt their head back and look where they're going. These people are unaware of what they are doing. They are on autopilot. Every so often I stick out my my elbow, accidentally, of course, in an effort to knock the wind out of them and some sense into them and crack em back in to the manual mode.
If we create or are involved in something truly momentous, historic even, we may be remembered for several centuries.
George Washington, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan. John Smith (Pocahontas).
Often, I think. This is more than can be said for some people. My brain resides between my ears and I intend to continue using it. I keep hoping that one day an exceptional idea will spring forth. So far I have yet to create anything I consider exceptional. Cool, unique, different, perhaps. Monumental? No.
Notice nothing I have written contains the word Thailand. This is intentional. Why, might you ask? After all, Thailand is great, right? Most of the time. Thailand is simply a piece of land inhabited by a decent group of people. I have been to many plots of land in my life and although I like this one, I am, and always have been nomadic by nature. The grass is always greener on the other side. The trick is to find the other side, then leave before the greener grass begins to fade. Hopefully, you move on to even greener pastures. After 20 years, just about anything will fade.
Things could be much worse though. I always remember this no matter how disgruntled, irritated, befuddled or discombobulated I become. I could be living in Iraq or Syria. Instead of writing a blog in the serenity of my own home, or Starbucks, or in a taxi heading towards another special piece of land, I could be worrying about being beheaded or burned alive by medieval animals hell bent on forcing their idiotic ideology on others.
I am free and grateful...but lucky? Nope.
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