much to accomplish. When I was young I used to think working for yourself would be the best thing in the world. Wake up when you want, work when you want, and nobody could tell you what to do. I learned long ago nothing could be further from the truth. In the past when I went to work, I started at 8AM and finished at 5PM. Once the clock hit 5PM, my time was my time and work became the furthest thing from my mind.
Last night I watched the documentary War Photographer. I have watched this movie at least five times but every so often I get the urge to watch it again. Two things strikes me about James Nachtwey; his absolute single-mindedness towards getting the shot and his consummate professionalism. For the past few weeks I have been thinking about where and what to photograph next. When I consider places to go, I often find the word but coming into play far too often. But I don't have enough money, but I don't know if I can make any money from that project, but I don't know if I'm good enough. But...but...but...
When I first started this site and making YouTube videos, I thought it would be easy. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not. Like my mother always said, "No one ever promised life would be easy." It could be a lot worse, that's for sure. Questions normally have answers that can be found with a little searching. My own question as a photographer has been, "What now?" I could go back to Myanmar, I could photograph the Thai protests, and I could go to Africa. James Nachtwey came to photograph Thailand and promptly got shot in the leg. Did he say to his editor, "I don't know what to do, I got shot in the leg?" No, he bandaged his leg and continued shooting. This is the fifth or sixth time he's been wounded. Yet, it hasn't stopped him.
What's my point? Whining and over thinking doesn't get you anywhere.
I have always been someone who put my mind to doing something and did it. Deciding is half the battle, at least with me. For the past few weeks I've been thinking of going to the Central African Republic, going from Capetown to Casablanca, and also about taking part in a documentary on the decline of the number of elephants, rhinos, and lions. Instead of being a head case and constantly trying to figure out how I can do these things, I just need to commit. Once a person commits, the battle plan changes from thinking what to do towards how to accomplish the mission.
This is the life of An American in Bangkok...long periods of contemplation followed later by periods of action. Choke dee lae jer gan mai...