Bangkok, August 25, 2017 - Day 11/365
When I first started visiting Thailand, I would always hear the phrase, "Don't think too much." Fortunately, I do have the ability to compartmentalize when I choose to do so. If I believe an issue is important enough, I will attempt to analyze it from all angles. Then I'll review the issue, sleep on it, come back and review it again. This is my process, this is how my mind works. When I was younger, I would think on a situation sober and then go out, get drunk and see what I came up with once I awoke.
In the past week, a few dozen people have asked me to bring back the chowderhead videos. Some have said my answering these sort of questions are why I was put on this earth, others have said this is my niche, and a few others have begged me to continue because the videos make them laugh or make their day. Seriously? This is why I was put on earth? This might not have been meant as an insult, but that's how I took it. Sorry, I would like to believe I was put here for better reasons than to slam some idiot without a clue.
The fact I am not a comedian, never set out to make money from YouTube, and never considered myself a Dr. Phil or Ann Landers-type has nothing to do with my decision to stop making those type of videos. After all, we all start somewhere. I could make the videos in my sleep; take an email sent to me from some clueless sap, let my mind run wild, throw in a few expletives and upload. There will always be people who find them amusing.
Perhaps if the videos were raking in the dough and I was earning a million bucks a year (okay, maybe even $50K), I would be willing to ignore my growing distaste for this type of video and continue making them. But I'm not. Yes, I admit, if the videos earned enough to better my children's lives, I would sell out. The truth is, I am embarrassed by the chowderhead videos.
I asked myself the following question: "If the videos were photographs and I was asked to shoot a chowderhead spread for a magazine, would I be proud of my work?" The answer is a resounding no. Then I asked what is truly important to me. Chowderhead videos? I think not. I narrowed down my life to five important attributes: me, my family, photography, writing and video making — in this order. Then I asked myself what legacy would I like to leave my wife and sons. Of course, I hope they remember me as a good father, husband and provider. I also hope they will pass along my photographs, videos and books with pride. Depending on your perspective, this may come off as morbid or forward thinking. Doesn't really matter. What matters is my perspective; time spent on Chowderhead videos is a waste and should be spent engaging in more important activities.